“My Anxiety led to a pause in my studies. I coped better with Vipassana and meditation.”
written by Rupsha
Getting into college is like stepping into another world altogether. Meeting new friends , enjoying college life sound so fun that I couldn’t stop imagining about entering the new college campus. However,it was the time of lockdown. All silence and stillness enveloped us as we fought with the contagion. We extracted fun during the online classes and had the guidance of amazing Professors . But , during the end of the lockdown I dealt with issues like depression and anxiety and had to consult a doctor . He prescribed medications which would make me sleep for more hours in the morning. The medicines helped , however they weakened my spirits for college as it was time to say adieu to online classes and enter into the realm of regular classes .Lockdown ended , we were relieved that we would experience college life . I went to college for the first time in my fourth semester with a lot of hopes of sensing fresh air , having a tinge of freedom about myself , adapting well to the atmosphere . With time , I realized I chose the wrong college altogether . Doubled up with my anxiety , this choice led me to dislike college as there was a feeling of distaste . 
Black woman wearing a orange jumper and blue rippled skirt, holds her chest
The strict Catholic approach of college like a state of confinement aggravated my anxiety and created an aversion in me towards the college. Before the exams I had tremendous fear of them , something termed as exam anxiety . In addition to that , I confronted with social anxiety , a fear to meet new people and old alike in my daily transport that was metro. I deeply loathed the idea of being almost incarcerated in college for long hours , so I decided not to attend college in the middle of the fifth semester which obviously affected my educational achievement. With infrequent visits to college in my third year of the degree ,I was short of attendance and was not allowed to appear for exams . It created stress in me and finally I took the firm decision of leaving college.I chose an open university to complete my degree.While I couldn’t find the freedom I wanted in college , what I learnt is how to take care of my mental health first.I am glad to have emerged strong since then . I practiced Vipassana, a kind of Buddhist meditation to feel calmer in anxiety. Meditation has given me greater concentration . I also exercise to release the stress I face in day to day life .This decision helped me to empower myself as I understood I need not be in strict incarceration but can stand strong for myself in a free environment . It helped me own myself , what I am and embrace newness , embrace my mental health , embrace myself.